Over the past few years, I’ve discovered that I’m a goal oriented person. Even on a day off, I want to be ticking things off of my To Do List and getting stuff done. It’s an obsession, which constantly pushes me to be the very best, and I love it. It even stretches as far as me giving myself goals on how many tiers up the Fornite Battle Pass I can get each day!
I have a huge list of goals I’m always reassessing and crossing ones out and adding others in. It started out having normal work To Do Lists, stuff that HAD to be done. But all work and no play makes Jack an extremely dull boy, and I soon realised there are other areas of my life I could be working on.
When one thing takes over (like work) it can be easy to just completely forget about the other stuff. But I’ve realised there’s nothing that makes me happier than balance, and yes, I know it’s an impossible goal for almost everyone, but as long as I continue to juggle everything to get NEAR to a balance, I’m happy.
When Rose and I moved closer to London nearly four years ago, we ended up in the world’s smallest village (not really but…really. It didn’t even have a cash point. We’d have to drive to another town to get money out.) Because it was so quiet, and I was so busy in my work life (writing a book, filming a documentary, trying to upload to our three channels consistently, travelling… you get it) I literally gave up on my appearance. Rose and I had some unhealthy lifestyle habits, like staying up till 3am editing, then sleeping in until 12 or 1 the next day. I would get up, rushing because the dog needed a walk, and throw on the nearest clothes to me. Jogging bottoms, greasy hair scraped back… it wasn’t a great look. I thought I was letting myself relax, by not worrying about what I was wearing or having any pressure to look a certain way. I thought it was almost self care, letting myself have a makeup free day and not caring about how I look so I could focus on other stuff.
But actually, it wasn’t self care at all. For me, it was self destructive. If I bumped into anyone in the village, I couldn’t look them in the eye because I felt so disgustingly hideous. I felt like I was almost unrecognisable to the me who spent time on herself carefully choosing her outfits and makeup palettes. I wondered why anyone should treat me with respect when I didn’t even give a shit about wearing deodorant.
Now I want to interrupt myself here and say that I don’t think that wearing makeup is the be-all-and-end-all. I know loads of people who are quite happy to go to work and live life makeup free and I am JEALOUS of those people! But this goes further than makeup and outfits, I WASN’T BRUSHING MY HAIR BEFORE I LEFT THE HOUSE. I’m talking about having the very basics taken care of.
When we moved into the place that we now call home, it was totally different. I’ve never had so many neighbours ringing my doorbell and being so over friendly in my LIFE. If Rose went out to water the lawn, our neighbour would immediately come out and water their lawn. It was in the middle of a heatwave when we moved in and everybody and their dogs were outside soaking up the sun. There was no way I could get away with my grease bomb look without having to hold myself accountable.
It was also during this time in my life when Rose and I made the decision to start waking up between 5 and 6am in order to get more work done. So it wasn’t like I didn’t have the time to get ready anymore. I used to be up before the sun.
So I started to make an effort again and oh my god, I had forgotten how much I ENJOYED taking time to look good! There is so much negativity surrounding beauty. Like if you have a passion for makeup you must be stupid, and if you worry about what you look like you’re vain. That is such utter bullshit! The more pride I took in my appearance, the more I felt in control, capable, on top of my game. Was it psychological? Absolutely! But by taking the time to think about what my hair looked like and if this outfit looks cute, I was spending time caring about myself. And I realised that my previous decline in personal hygiene had absolutely correlated with my mental health and how I had felt about myself at the time.
So now, not only do I take pride in my appearance but I have goals. I have health goals (physical and mental) skin care goals, beauty goals, organisation goals. You name it, I’ve made it a goal.
I’ve found that focussing on the outside has actually been a really positive way to occupy my mind and keep unwanted anxieties and thoughts at bay. I’m happy because I have something to focus on, and that person is me, and making me look and feel better. It gives me something to do every single day, in a small way, that is about me.
And when I go back to checking in on my goals, there is nothing more satisfying than realising you’ve completed your target, and looking back upon how far you’ve come.
Something that really helped me was an app/website called Chains CC (nope this isn’t sponsored, just something that genuinely helped me and is free.) You mark something you’ve completed and it forms a chain if you complete the same thing every single day. It’s really helping me check in on myself and get everything I want done.
Another thing I’m going to try to do is to go back to posting Outfit of the Days! I really miss that I used to do that, I had so much fun with it. I’ll be attempting to post my daily outfits on LIKEtoKNOWit so feel free to check them out there!
I challenge you guys to create yourself some goals, no matter how small, no matter how ‘superficial’ – because I’ve learned that, whatever your goal is, completing it for you will make you happy!