Mental Health and Physical Appearance

Over the past few years, I’ve discovered that I’m a goal oriented person. Even on a day off, I want to be ticking things off of my To Do List and getting stuff done. It’s an obsession, which constantly pushes me to be the very best, and I love it. It even stretches as far as me giving myself goals on how many tiers up the Fornite Battle Pass I can get each day!

I have a huge list of goals I’m always reassessing and crossing ones out and adding others in. It started out having normal work To Do Lists, stuff that HAD to be done. But all work and no play makes Jack an extremely dull boy, and I soon realised there are other areas of my life I could be working on.

When one thing takes over (like work) it can be easy to just completely forget about the other stuff. But I’ve realised there’s nothing that makes me happier than balance, and yes, I know it’s an impossible goal for almost everyone, but as long as I continue to juggle everything to get NEAR to a balance, I’m happy.

When Rose and I moved closer to London nearly four years ago, we ended up in the world’s smallest village (not really but…really. It didn’t even have a cash point. We’d have to drive to another town to get money out.) Because it was so quiet, and I was so busy in my work life (writing a book, filming a documentary, trying to upload to our three channels consistently, travelling… you get it) I literally gave up on my appearance. Rose and I had some unhealthy lifestyle habits, like staying up till 3am editing, then sleeping in until 12 or 1 the next day. I would get up, rushing because the dog needed a walk, and throw on the nearest clothes to me. Jogging bottoms, greasy hair scraped back… it wasn’t a great look. I thought I was letting myself relax, by not worrying about what I was wearing or having any pressure to look a certain way. I thought it was almost self care, letting myself have a makeup free day and not caring about how I look so I could focus on other stuff.

But actually, it wasn’t self care at all. For me, it was self destructive. If I bumped into anyone in the village, I couldn’t look them in the eye because I felt so disgustingly hideous. I felt like I was almost unrecognisable to the me who spent time on herself carefully choosing her outfits and makeup palettes. I wondered why anyone should treat me with respect when I didn’t even give a shit about wearing deodorant.

Now I want to interrupt myself here and say that I don’t think that wearing makeup is the be-all-and-end-all. I know loads of people who are quite happy to go to work and live life makeup free and I am JEALOUS of those people! But this goes further than makeup and outfits, I WASN’T BRUSHING MY HAIR BEFORE I LEFT THE HOUSE. I’m talking about having the very basics taken care of. 

When we moved into the place that we now call home, it was totally different. I’ve never had so many neighbours ringing my doorbell and being so over friendly in my LIFE. If Rose went out to water the lawn, our neighbour  would immediately come out and water their lawn. It was in the middle of a heatwave when we moved in and everybody and their dogs were outside soaking up the sun. There was no way I could get away with my grease bomb look without having to hold myself accountable.

It was also during this time in my life when Rose and I made the decision to start waking up between 5 and 6am in order to get more work done. So it wasn’t like I didn’t have the time to get ready anymore. I used to be up before the sun.

So I started to make an effort again and oh my god, I had forgotten how much I ENJOYED taking time to look good! There is so much negativity surrounding beauty. Like if you have a passion for makeup you must be stupid, and if you worry about what you look like you’re vain. That is such utter bullshit! The more pride I took in my appearance, the more I felt in control, capable, on top of my game. Was it psychological? Absolutely! But by taking the time to think about what my hair looked like and if this outfit looks cute, I was spending time caring about myself.  And I realised that my previous decline in personal hygiene had absolutely correlated with my mental health and how I had felt about myself at the time.

So now, not only do I take pride in my appearance but I have goals. I have health goals (physical and mental) skin care goals, beauty goals, organisation goals. You name it, I’ve made it a goal.

I’ve found that focussing on the outside has actually been a really positive way to occupy my mind and keep unwanted anxieties and thoughts at bay. I’m happy because I have something to focus on, and that person is me, and making me look and feel better. It gives me something to  do every single day, in a small way, that is about me.

And when I go back to checking in on my goals, there is nothing more satisfying than realising you’ve completed your target, and looking back upon how far you’ve come.

Something that really helped me was an app/website called Chains CC (nope this isn’t sponsored, just something that genuinely helped me and is free.) You mark something you’ve completed and it forms a chain if you complete the same thing every single day. It’s really helping me check in on myself and get everything I want done.

Another thing I’m going to try to do is to go back to posting Outfit of the Days! I really miss that I used to do that, I had so much fun with it. I’ll be attempting to post my daily outfits on LIKEtoKNOWit so feel free to check them out there!

I challenge you guys to create yourself some goals, no matter how small, no matter how ‘superficial’ – because I’ve learned that, whatever your goal is, completing it for you will make you happy!

xxxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

40 Comments

  1. Logan Addicus
    March 19, 2019 / 9:32 pm

    i love how honest and open you are, and yeah, when it comes to health, everything about a person is linked, i hate that there are stereotypes, like somehow being pretty and being smart are mutually exclusive for one
    cant wait for you next one 🙂 xx

    • Emma
      March 19, 2019 / 10:16 pm

      I can’t figure out how to comment normally, I looked everywhere. Someone help me please!!! Thank you

      • Lori B
        March 19, 2019 / 11:39 pm

        Emma scroll all the way down the bottom of the page where there should be a comment box 🙂

  2. Louise
    March 19, 2019 / 9:32 pm

    This actually really hit a nerve for me, since I’m not really good at taking care of myself like personal hygiene and all. I can really relate to, what you write about just putting on whatever, because it doesn’t really matter anyway, but then in the end, you still feel kind of ashamed, when people actually notice. Thanks for sharing your story. I have never heard this kind of story before, so it was nice to read and relate and know, that you can always make a change yourself.:) (this was really hard for me to comment, since I don’t really talk about this).

    • Emma
      March 19, 2019 / 10:21 pm

      I can’t figure out how to comment normally, I looked everywhere. Someone help me please!!! Thank you

    • Kanani
      March 19, 2019 / 10:50 pm

      Thank you for the wonderful advice

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 20, 2019 / 12:31 am

      Thank you Louise for taking the time to comment when this isn’t normally something you would share! It is interesting because I really thought I was being a strong person by not caring what others think. But then I realised in a way I was putting myself last by not bothering to think about these things. Sometimes taking the time to think about the small details is a huge form of self-care! xx

    • April 22, 2019 / 3:47 pm

      This is the most beautiful piece I have read in a while and glad I resonate with you. I really needed this

  3. Septimber
    March 19, 2019 / 9:33 pm

    Good advise. I look forward to your blog posts! Thanks!

  4. Phillip Hatch II
    March 19, 2019 / 9:33 pm

    This is so great Rosie. Self care is the most important. I always tell my friends taking care of ourselves is the best thing we can do. When we don’t then it spiderwebs out from us in negative ways that can effect us and everyone we come in contact with. Im so happy you’re feeling better and taking care of yourself in ways that are fostering positivity in your life. I’d love to see you do OotD. I enjoyed those on you’re previous blog as well. Thanks for sharing.

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 20, 2019 / 12:43 am

      Hi Phil! Thanks so much for always supporting me, I always notice your comments on YouTube! I’m so glad you miss the OOTD I really enjoyed doing them and I’m hoping it will motivate me, even more, to get up and look good and get going! So you can let me know if you enjoy them as much as the old OOTD posts! xxx

  5. Lori
    March 19, 2019 / 9:35 pm

    Love this Rosie! Self care is so important. As a caregiver for my mom it is something I work on but is difficult. Hard for me to make future goals right now but I should probably at least start making a goals list. ❤️

    • Lori B
      March 19, 2019 / 10:02 pm

      Every time I comment I think I mistakenly commented twice when I see your name as well. LOL 🙂 I took a read at your comment, I hope that is ok. You taking care of your mom will be a positive outcome in your life. Good stuff ahead. I hope you find some time for yourself though as well soon. Be strong!

      • Lori
        March 19, 2019 / 11:55 pm

        Thank you! ❤️

  6. Lori B
    March 19, 2019 / 9:38 pm

    Great read Rosie! Really enjoyed it and seeing how you manage to see what you need to do for you. Something I got to start doing. I always put everyone before myself, that I forgot about my own self cause. Probably what is making my mental health go off the charts sometimes. It is also a goal of mine to do stuff for myself in a positive way. reading you blog is making me want to start making a to do list. #1 every morning wake up with a positive though to start the day and go to bed with a positive thought to help with my mental health and be positive in myself.

  7. Bethan Bearfoot
    March 19, 2019 / 9:39 pm

    This is such a great post Rosie. I lost my job about 4 months ago and I had time to fall into bad habits again, my job kept me occupied and I had so many goals within my work that when I lost it I felt like I had no purpose! I went back to being a hermit and I honestly felt like I had been transported back in time to when I was 16 and at the night of my depression. My mental health was so shit, and I wasn’t taking care of myself!
    I’ve just gotten another job a few days ago and I can already see a massive difference in my routine and self care. I get up at 7 am instead of 12 when half my day is wasted! After my bath I moisturise and take care of my skin condition which I literally had no motivation to do before. This post has come just at the right time, and I’m defiantly going to be setting myself new targets each week to help me get back on track. The first one I can think of immediately just from reading this is to stop smoking. Which I only feel back into because of my low mood. Thank you for the inspiration babe xx

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 20, 2019 / 12:41 am

      Bethan! I am so sorry to hear about this! I’m sure I remember reading something about people at your old work not being too nice, so hopefully this all happened for a reason and now you’re new job is treating you much better! Also I’ve just started moisturising my skin after the bath also and it makes me feel like such a pampered queen haha! It’s the little details! Good luck with the smoking – remember that is a tricky one so don’t be too hard on yourself. BUT if I can learn to drive you can quit smoking! xxx

  8. Sally Cannell
    March 19, 2019 / 9:51 pm

    Rosie, I really enjoy reading your blogs, and I love how you write,by being really personable but at the same time you engage with the readers.
    I suffer with depression, anxiety and also some physical problems, so it’s really good when you write about your mental state. I can totally relate about how your sense of personal appearance is tied to mental state at the time.
    Anyway, I could go on forever about mental health, it has taken over my life completely..but it doesn’t define who I am, it is a struggle but I’m at peace with it. I’m sure your blogs, videos and vlogs help a lot of people out there who are struggling. I’m thanking you for using the YouTube platform to reach out to all of your audience.
    If you have read this, yes it’s just me rambling on, but really, just thank you. 🙂

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 20, 2019 / 12:39 am

      Thank you Sally for your kind words. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. Although everyone is at different stages, I hope you know you aren’t alone in your problems, and we can all help one another when we are open and talk about it xxx

  9. Clare
    March 19, 2019 / 10:16 pm

    You know ,I like others, forget about me sometimes as life does get in the way so thank you for reminding me that I’m still important and it’s very true that looking good outside makes you feel good inside and thes so important.

  10. Penélope
    March 19, 2019 / 10:17 pm

    I was just thinking about this today. I’m bisexual, 25 and got my heart broken for the first time in the most terrible way by a girl. For the last weeks I’ve been feeling so sad about everything and today it just hit me that I’ve forgot about my self-care, I love make-up, clothes, etc and I stop doing that just thinking that sleeping until noon was self-care and eating junk food was pampering myself (which is nice too but not everyday) and that wearing anything confortable would do. And I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and from being that “high maintenance fabulous glowing woman” I turned into somebody I don’t recognize.
    I appreciate your post, it really hit a nerve on me, and I’ll start working on being myself again.

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 20, 2019 / 12:37 am

      Hi Penélope! I’m so sorry you’re going through a hard time right now. Remember that another form of self-care is to not be too hard on yourself! It’s understandable that for the last few weeks you didn’t make too much of an effort. But I think it’s fantastic that you’re already thinking about changing this and wanting to work on yourself. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon xxx

      • Penélope
        March 20, 2019 / 1:13 am

        Thank you so much Rosie! It’s the first time I’m going through something like this, I’ve been so out of place and out of touch with myself that I was starting to miss myself. Normally I never comment on things online but for some reason I thought of reaching out to you because I agree with all the things you write and talk about and I felt you might understand (Always getting hit on by guys, the one girl that I like and start dating destroyed my heart.. I still feel that us as bisexuals we are not fully understood by the lgbt community and straight friends just don’t get it..) and thanks for the post it really helped to try to get back on track, and not feel that “high maintenance” is wrong, tomorrow I’m buying fabulous glitter make up and bring my shine back
        Love, and thanks again xxx

        Ps. Can’t wait for the next post

  11. March 19, 2019 / 10:33 pm

    Rosie, I really admire your stubbornness. I know that I’m consistent at work. I have a goal and take it step by step and if something can not be done, I have a plan b, c, etc.My private life is chaos and it definitely affects my health. I always had an excuse …
    recently I told you about the books I read and about the podcast https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-3-Day-Effect-Audiobook/B07HNBRR1B?ref=a_ep_audios_c7_AshowsWellnessDT_1_1&pf_rd_p=0ae60896-3384-4931-816b-0282c4fce61d&pf_rd_r=R4TEYSXSDDNHSGE2N398& I want this 3 day effect in my life. I want to go to the Tatras and see my beloved Sea Eye again. To do this I must definitely improve my physical condition. I am on a diet, I am slowly returning to the gym and this private chaos is more controlled which is very refreshing. The goal is important but our determination in its implementation is even more important.
    Another goal is to read at least one book per month. Back to reading for pleasure is one of the best things I’ve done lately.To have time to read I had to reorganize the plan of the day and I managed it. last target is at least one hour a day without my mobile phone, without checking social media, e-mail and … without haste. I feel a lot better with myself and lately it was really bad…
    Thank you again for the honest post and inspiration for action. I hope all your goals will be achieved. Good luck and Happy wedding anniversary xx

    • Rosie
      Author
      March 20, 2019 / 12:34 am

      Hi Ivona! I think it’s great that you are slowly making goals and changes to make your personal life less chaotic! With your goals, I think you could combine two, read before bed instead of looking at social media! This is actually one of my goals too! These small changes will add up to a big change if you are consistent! xxx

      • March 20, 2019 / 7:16 am

        Reading before bed is probably the best time to cut yourself off from social media. How is your meditation learning going? I hope you will write about it on your blog.I think that meditation helps you concentrate on our goals even more, and therefore wants to approach this subject more seriously. Headspace is good but it’s too easy for me to skip these few minutes 🙁 Today, he will start reading The Headspace Guide to Mindfulness and Meditation: 10 minutes can make the difference

  12. Anthony Girgenti
    March 19, 2019 / 10:40 pm

    I just love your brutal honesty in writing this blog and so glad you got a handle on things. It was very empowering and will look into that app later today. Thanks for that and keep up these blogs. They are informative and really funny

  13. Kimi
    March 20, 2019 / 12:57 am

    I do self care by making sure I exercise every day of the week. Either I ride my bike or just take my dog for a nice long hike. When doing this I let my mind go where it wants to go. I have found that that also helps me sleep better and be more calm most days.

  14. Nicole Shanice
    March 20, 2019 / 1:31 am

    I’ve caught myself having the same issue more often than I would like to admit. I’m actively trying to better myself, focus more on making myself look good because it FEELS good and having a more positive outlook on life in general. It’s been a bit hard but whenever someone notices like “You’ve looked so happy lately” it feels rewarding.

  15. SCUBAGoldfish45
    March 20, 2019 / 1:56 am

    #LifeGoals amirite?? Okay that’s a big project and a bucket unspilled tea, but still. I might have to start making chains for learning All The Things though. I bought a guitar last month, time to get musical af! I also want to learn a bunch of computery stuff. Maybe you’ll see “music” “videos” from me in the future. I’m taking suggestions for a new YouTube channel name because I don’t want all of the super personal stuff on my existing channel to get too much attention from people that like the songs I’ll cover. ;D

  16. Dr. Shrestha Srivastava
    March 20, 2019 / 3:48 am

    This struck the cord right and I just resonated with same energy as yours. A To Do list and adding goals each day is my kinda thing but Personal care, after reading your blog I realised this exactly is the same thing I was going through couple of years back when on one fine day one of my friend told me you looking like a Sumo wrestler which changed all for me, it was an epiphany, since then I have grown, grown massively postive I lost weight, I took care of my skin, my complexion became lighter like 3 shades, I went from flab to fit, a caterpillar to a butterfly, long story short My Mental Health and physical health resonated together in harmony. Taking personal care makes me feel like Pampering Princess! hahaha..but it’s ok when you are happy everything just fall into place. This blog just made my day.
    I have been reading your blogs, watching videos, following you on various social sites but I do not usually comment bc I thought it will go unnoticed and unknowingly I fail to show the love which I feel immensely for you and Rose. After reading this blog I have added a goal in my To Do list to add comment from now onwards to your videos, blogs etc to make myself more Happy and let my fiercely crazy amazing love for you to capture more happiness. 🙂

  17. Black Girl
    March 20, 2019 / 5:00 am

    Thank you for sharing this, Rosie. I relate to this so much. What is hard for me is coming to terms with how much I’ve neglected myself and just how badly I’ve treated my body. Dental care is so expensive and I want to cry every time I think about the days when I didn’t brush my teeth because maybe I didn’t think I deserved healthy teeth. Sometimes I attempt to excercise… but I look at my butt (which I loved) and how it’s just wasted away because of muscle atrophy and I just can’t bring myself to do anything. It’s this paralyzing shame of knowing that this is where I’m starting from & it was all my doing.

  18. Lori Barbosa
    March 20, 2019 / 5:36 am

    Hi Rosie, I hope you glance at this and maybe respond if you see it. My anxiety hits me every time I write a post or comment on your social media. I keep thinking I am disturbing you or sound weird. As I don’t know how else to say thank you for sharing your life with us all. Reading Overshare and also your youtube videos and blogs has taught me a lot more about my mental health and stuff I do on a daily basis. I been diagnosed and suffering with Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, OCD and two I have not mentioned till now to anyways is, Anorexic and balemic a few years ago. But triggers do come back. It’s a day to day thing and trying to help myself get better and fight it which ever ones decided to hit me that day. I been told I am stronger then I see myself. it’s a work in progress but I am getting to where I need to be for me. Thank you again because, you and Rose have been helping in many ways. I could keep writing as I feel like I can talk to you but it will be long. haha (Happy 4 year Anniversary to you ladies) xx

  19. FANG
    March 20, 2019 / 7:48 am

    Getting up early actually can do more things.Accept your challenge,Rosie.Thanks you for writing this.Find little goals and finish them.

  20. Vivian Cooper
    March 20, 2019 / 8:15 am

    You write really well Rosie! It’s not easy to do this style of writing: being personable; communicating your chosen point clearly whilst not being condescending to your readers; and not being convoluted, ‘clever-clever’ or with ego embedded in what you say.

    Your outfit of the day goal is a good one! Good luck!

    Thank you for the post.

  21. Rachel
    March 20, 2019 / 1:53 pm

    Hi Rosie! I’ve been an avid fan ever since I watched one the R&R videos. Now I am a repeat viewer because I genuinely have a fresh laugh and learn something new every time I watch your videos.

    I’ve been stuck in a rut lately – actually for a very long time. I’ve chosen not to work and study- I know that it is a privilege having parents who dont mind having their unemployed kid around. I enjoy being here with my family, doing what I feel like doing at any point in time. But not having to meet outsiders, or make friends, I give zero fucks about my appearance, partly because of how I walk too( like it wouldnt matter even if I were to dandy up but still walk like a duck- its due to transverse myelitis) I thought it was something superficial and not worth wasting time on. But reading this, I might give it a try to see if I can be in control of my life and be much more productive.

    I look forward to some self-care tips in your blog – make up ain’t my thing but I’ll try to take care of my body in general.

    By the way, creating my own goals can be a drag and make me give up in the first place. Would appreciate some template from you. Danke Schön~

    • Rachel
      March 20, 2019 / 1:59 pm

      By the way, why don’t we create a Boobies support group to help keep each other in check on our goals. I find it hard to have real life friends to do it because some are just so powered up to complete their life missions and some just didnt care. If anyone is interested, drop me an email at gnochlechar@gmail.com and see if we can set something up.

  22. Maja
    March 20, 2019 / 3:07 pm

    Hi Rosie!
    Thank you for this post, it really inspired me and I’ll be sure to check that app out. I was just wondering if there’s any way you could connect your blog to Bloglovin? I actually don’t know if Bloglovin is a thing in the UK, but here in Sweden it’s a very common devise used by blog readers. It’s a platform (I’m sorry if you already know this) where you can add different blogs to your feed and when a blog has a new post it comes up on the feed. So you have all your favourite blogs and the blog posts all in one place, easy to reach. I’ve tried to find your blog on Bloglovin, but it isn’t there. I would love it if it could be. Also, I know that you have a lot of fans in Sweden, maybe they want to use Bloglovin as well.
    Thanks for a great blog, love from Sweden!

  23. Kellis Campbell
    March 21, 2019 / 4:18 am

    Hi Rosie. I’m glad you were able to get all the facts and make an in informed decision. That’s what life is all about, jo matter what you believe in. I often thought that your issues might be due to dietary issues
    I never thought of the carbs, but it makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing your truth with us.

  24. Marie
    March 21, 2019 / 1:57 pm

    Came by this blogpost a bit late but I relate so much to the things you wrote. Last year I started studying to be a nurse, i exercised, spend a lot of time with friends and family. Lately I’ve been so lazy with everything- how I look, how I act around friends and family, paying attention to my lectures at university etc. When I read this and realized how i’ve behaved lately, not just when it comes to caring about how I look but also the other things I mentioned, I didn’t recognize myself at all. And it kind of scares me because I had told myself that I had changed for the better and that it was healthy to not try to be at my best with everything and everyone. I’ve now realized that behaving that way was way less healthier than I thought it would be, and that I want to work on finding a balance- that allows me to relax and be confident with who I am and what I do and that that is good enough, but at the same time care about my appearence. Its a hard balance to find though… but I loved this post and thank you for bringing attention to it, it helped me a lot!

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